It’s 4 pm in the evening and I am sitting alone at a darkest corner of my place …a flickering beam of light touching me over my forhead…pen in my hand a notebook in my lap trying to ink those feelings which always drives me fuckin insane …
Feeling which makes me vulnerable at times , feeling which often compels me to repent for being a goof that I was …..
Feelings which are beyond pain one can never explain , feelings which let go all of my emotion to drain !!
wondering why am I so vulnerable to such feelings , why I always over feel the feelings which hardly have any existence ….how on earth a human can have such intense power to transform other human into nothingness , wondering how such a small word like love can be so much intensified and make a person powerless…
Enculcating the past and procrastinating the future which leads me to a paradox lying in present !!!
Those broken pieces were brutally scattered by few more whom I offered a chance to make me whole , I trusted them and received a gift wrapped with betrayal in return!!! Love for me was compassion , devotion , adulation ,emotion and for them it was pure Lust….
I surrounded myself with people who see beauty in the body no one’s ever tried to touch a inch of my soul ….the body they loved is a part of the soul they did not tried to touch …now i know it must be hard for them to reach this deep because the love they knew was bounded bird but the love that I aspire to get was a boundless beauty….
I was a sinner not because I left people broken but I got to know the the real meaning of love, I got the chance to feel it’s deapth . ….and now I seek redemption by showering it on a real kind of man …a man who know how to love , a man who can glorify this life of mine , a man who know no boundaries , a man who is worth sharing all the suffering with and a man who is worth sharing this life with !!!