Broken

I think I’ve loved you enough to even let you go .

baby I am sorry but ….

I can’t take it anymore as you can see I am already broken and beyond repairs now 💔

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A note for you 💌

So here’s a thing about priority, it indeed change . Yours and mine changed too , you made it to the top of mine and I,  I to the bottom of yours , funny right !!

It’s not your fault , you were quite young figuring out your messed up life  , getting closer to this fascinating world , taking steps closer towards your dreams , and yeah you had choices , so you bumped into those that seemed beautiful but not complicated and ours ,  was forever a “complicated bond” . Walking beside someone who is impatient , insecure and an emotional asshole is pretty tough , I got it . Nobody wants complication in their life , so leaving me was never your fault . You were just trying to manage your life , trying to unburden it.

Your priorities changed and you happened cut the one from the list who loved you more than anything . Not a big deal right ? Who wants love these days , that’s a complicated shit ! And moreover you got plenty of birds in the sky , so why to bother yourself for one shitty girl .

Don’t you worry I don’t blame you for anything . You were never mine to have , you just happened to be the most beautiful phase of my life . I loved you , I saw my whole damn world in you as if you were the only thing that ever mattered to me . Loving you was never a regret , I don’t regret anything that I shared with you , not even a bit . You added some beautiful chapters to my ” not-so-beautiful-life” .

But yeah , love is a deep shit , and it hurts.  So going away from you was painful and somewhere it still is , but somehow I managed to get through it now like you did back then . You were strong , you did not let this shit affect you and why would you ? You got other problems to deal with besides love . I’ve learnt a lot from you but what I failed to learn was,  how to “unlove” someone , how to leave someone after promising them “forever” , how to get over those uncountable  “memories” that haunts you at night and yeah how to cut down someone you once loved from the list of your “priority” .

No no , nothing that you do affects me now , nothing that you say breaks my soul now , I am not a stupid ,over emotional asshole that I used to be , “now” .

Thank you for the “love” and the “lessons” !!

With love :
A girl you once loved 💌

Kuch Sach ,kuch sapna hai tu !!

Maut se rubaru hokar , zindagi ki ehmiyat maloom hui .
Khud ke liye jab aaj ye aasu aaye , to khud se hi pehchan hui .
Kya hai  zindagi or kya is zindagi m apno ka saath ,do pal ki hai zindagi or us mein bhi bas ek lamha hi to hai apne paas  …

“Vo kissa tha usse kissa hi rehne de , agar hissa bana lia usse to ye zindagi fir bikhar jayegi , or fr roz tujhe rulaegi”
Uske liye tu baut roo liya , ab zara khud ke liye bhi to muskura,  ae zindagi ab tu thoda theher jaa.

Aaj ek arse baad khud pe pyaar aaya hai , in palo ko kuch peher dil se lagane de , aaj in aankhon se kuch aansu khushi ke bhi beh jaane de ..
Dard baut saha hai is zindagi mein , ab thoda tasalli se mujhe muskurane de , Jin yaadoon ke sahare jee raha tha un yaadoon ko ab in fiza mein ghulkar kahi dur Jane de ..

Haan pata hai zindagi vaisi nahi chali jaisa tune chaha tha , tu uske saath nahi reh paya jiske saath tune socha tha , haan pata hai raatein sone nahi deti tujhe , subah ka ujala bhi aankhon mein kabhi kabhi ab chubne lagta hai tujhe , pata hai tu pareshan hai , iss kabhi na rukne vali zindagi mein tu bas ek haara hua insaan hai ..
Par sapne abhi bhi to zinda hai na tere , vo aasani se marne nahi denge tujhe . Chal ab sambhal ja , unhi sapno ke khaatir ab tu jeena seekh ja . Haan maana galtiyaan hui hai tujhse , par ab kya unka shook zindagi bhar manaega ? Apne andar ke insaan ko kya jeete je maarna chahaega?  Insaan hi to hai tu koi bhagwan nahi Jo har paap ka bhagidaar tu sirf khud ko banaega. ..

Use ek haseen sapna ban bhool jaa , kuch mulakaaton ke darmiyaan un yaadoon ko dafna jaa.
Chal ab ek nayi shuruwat kar , kisi paraye se nahi ab khud se pyaar kar …

Jab dard ne dard se mulakat kari !!

Kal raat dard ne dard se mulakat kari , ek tute hue dil ne dusre tute hue dil se baat kari .

Baatein hui , kuch raaz khule , do ajnabee ab humraaz ban chale . Ek alag si kashish thi usme , meri adhuri kahani ki bhumika buni fir usne .

Kal raat dard ne dard se mulakat kari , ek tute hue dil ne dusre tute hue dil se baat kari .

Jo beet gayi vo baatein hui , jo hasrate kabhi kisi se na kahi gayi vo bhi baya hui. Ek adhure ,bikhre hue ehsaaso ki dor hume badhne lagi jiski neev humne mulakaato pe rakhi .

Kal raat dard ne dard se mulakat kari , ek tute hue dil ne dusre tute hue dil se baat kari .

Puri raat ye silsila chala , humne apna dard ek dusre ke samne bekhof baya kia . Or fr subah hui , vo parinda apne sheher ki aur udh chala or mujhe usne frse paraya kar dia.

Kal raat dard ne dard se mulakat kari , ek tute hue dil ne dusre tute hue dil se baat kari .

Someone who’s still my forever !!

So here I go again , writing about you .

No I am not sad , neither do I wanna talk to you but just sitting at a corner of my room and reminiscing about the time that was magical . Strange right ? After all this time , after what happened between both of us , you’re still on my mind . Its not just this moment , you happened to cross my mind quite often . No it’s not your fault , I know you are happy out there , living your “perfect” life in this not-so-perfect world . Living all those moments you always wanted to live and those dreams you used to tell me about .. I am happy for you like for real . I really don’t blame you for anything that happened between both of us or is happening with me . You just wanted to live your dream life and I just couldn’t make it to your “dream life” ,yeah I was hurt for a while but now I am all fine … I just hope you are happy out there because there’s still a part of me that wants to see you happy .

You know what’s the most funniest part that there’s something in me that still loves you . After all those chances that I gave to myself to move on or to get over you I still feel the same connection with you … I am still bounded to all those memories that once you gave me and those are the best memories of my life till date .. life is unfair man, it really is. I wanted you to be my forever but yet we parted our ways .And now when someone asks me to be their “forever” I just couldn’t say yes … This was something I imagined with you so how on earth I can imagine it with someone else now….Moving on is tough man , it’s not that I want you back in my life but it’s impossible for me to give someone that place that was once yours …And how can I , it was magic that I experienced with you and I don’t feel it with anyone now …. We might fall for people and make them a part of our lives but not everyone is capable of creating that magic , magic that I call love ..

I am not a part of you now , I am not even a part of your memories anymore . Maybe someone else has taken that place but trust me things like these don’t make me sad anymore .. I really want you to make someone a part of your life because maybe only then I would be able to let you go . Only then I would be able to make someone my forever. Only then I would be able to really love someone . Only then I would be able to feel that magic again but with someone else this time …

You are my “bitter-sweet” memory and my forever ❤

Paheli

Kyu zindagi tu aisi hai , kyu tu har peher ek nayi paheli si hai .

Kyu samajhna tujhe aasan nahi , kyu suljhi hui teri raah nahi .

Kyu tu itne dard deti hai , kyu khushiyon bhare tu sirf kuch hi pal deti hai .

Kyu apno ko tu itna dur kar deti h , kyu parayo ko tu dil ke itne kareeb kar deti hai .

Kyu zindagi tu aisi hai , kyu tu har peher ek nayi paheli si hai .

Har kissa yaha zindagi mein alag mod le aata hai , jis raah se dur jana chaho sirf ussi raah m le jata hai . Khushiyaan bhi ab beimani lagne lagti hai , dard mein hi jeekar ab ek alag si tasalli milti hai .

Kuch pal aise bhi hote hai jaha pyaar ki zarurat lagne lagti hai , or kuch paloo mein sirf ek us anjaan ajnabi ki kami khalne lagti hai . Kisi ke zindagi bhar ka saath kabhi apna sa nahi lagta or kisi ke kuch pal ka saath bhi zindagi bhar ka apnapan de jata hai .

Kyu zindagi tu aisi hai , kyu tu har peher ek nayi paheli si hai .

Are you afraid of falling in love ? 

To be honest ,I am not at all afraid of falling in love . I wanna fall in love , wanna love someone whole heartedly.


Love knows no limits and that’s the kind of love I crave for , no boundaries,  no limits,  only love and passion . Love for the person and passion for the love ….

Love is not just an emotion it’s beyond that . Have you ever encountered a human who have the capability to alter your do’s into dont’s and dont’s into do’s. The kind of person who  drives you crazy just by simply looking at you . The kind of person who makes you crave for love at 2 in the morning and at 6 in the evening. The kind of person who you wanna kiss for the rest of your life ,the kind of person who you wanna annoy till the end of your days .
Don’t know about happy endings (life isn’t a fairytale right!!) But want to live a happy life with him , want to make this life a better place to live in with him ….

Love for sure is a game , where you don’t fight against each other but you fight for each other , you fight for each other’s presence , for each other’s goodwill,  you fight for making each other a better human being , you fight for each other’s happiness…and if you don’t do that , you don’t go by the rules then you loose and loose yourself too ..

But there are things  I am scared of , I am scared of falling for the wrong person , giving all of me to someone who don’t even understand love , who don’t wanna fight for me but for himself only . Who don’t believe in forevers. I am scared of falling in love with someone who is going to make me a part of his 24 hours insta story but not a part of his family frame. Who is going to make me a part of his friend circle but don’t consider me as his life partner ….

I’ve heard people saying , love can destroy you .Not at all , It’s the most wonderful feeling one can ever experience , it’s our expectations that destroys us , it’s our blind belief for the wrong people that destroys us , it’s our failed relationships that destroys us , it’s the people that destroys us but not love . If it’s love it can never destroy you infact it’ll make you , it’ll make you a better human , a better person . It builds you not destroys you !!
And for this reason we all are afraid of falling in love , it’s not love that we are afraid of , it’s the people !!!

Intezaar! !

​Haan aaj bhi beintaah pyaar hai tujhse .


Tu hissa aaj bhi hai mera,  meri is kahani ka sabse haseen kissa tu aaj bhi hai mera .
Tu aaj bhi khaash hai mere liye , har pal har lamhe mein tu aaj bhi saath hai mere.

Farak sirf itna hai ,
kal Teri baatein rulati thi par aaj teri khamoshi rulati hai mujhe .
Kal tera pyaar rulata tha par aaj teri nafrat rulati hai mujhe .
Kal tujhe khone ka dar rulata tha or aaj tujhe kho chuki hu ye ehsaas rulata hai mujhe .
Kuch sawal hai jo puchne hai tujhse Jo har peher khayalo mein aate hai mere …


“Kya kabhi meri yaad nahi aati tujhe ? 
Kya kabhi mujhe baahon mein  lene ka Mann nahi karta tujhe ?
Kya itni nafrat karne laga hai tu mujhse ki mere na hone se koi farak padhta nahi tujhe ?
Kya itni buri hu mein ki ab pyaar nahi hai mujhse tujhe ?  “


Yaad kar vo pal Jo humne saath bitaye the unhi kuch palo mein mene tere saath jeene ke sapne sajaye the .
Shayad pyaar tujhe bhi hai , bas nafrat thodi jyada ho gayi hai tujhe mujhse.
Shayad chinta tujhe bhi hai , bas baatein karna band kar dia hai tune mujhse.
Tujhe galti maan kar jeena nahi chahti , pyaar tujhe manti hu to ye zindagi mujhe jeene nahi deti .


Sach bolu to baut zarurat hai mujhe Teri, 
Zarurat hai mujhe tere saath ki tere pyaar ki .
Kabhi kabhi baut pareshan ho jati hu or tab sirf tere kandhe par sar rakh kar rona chahti hu .
Pata hai mujhe mere aasu nahi pasand hai tujhe , tu frse gussa mat karna mujhpar , tu kuch mat bolna , is khamoshi mein mujhe kuch pal akele jeene dena or behne dena unhe . Vo ek lambe arse ki duri ko akele jeekar aaye hai . Kuch waqt lagega unhe bhi sambhalne mein , ab tak to bas saanse hi le rahe the jeene ki aas to vo ab apne andar laye hai !!!

Fitrat 

​Iss samay tu khash hai agle samay dil ke koi or paas hai …ajeeb dastoor hai iss duniyaa ka , har pal badalte yaha insaan hai !!

Ye Tera kasoor nahi ,insaan ki to fitrat hi kharab hai ….


Khushi hai to har koi tere saath hai , gum aaya to deekh aaj tere apne bhi tere khilaaf hai …
Pyaar to sirf jismo ka khel hai , ab kaha yaha bhawnaao ka koi mol hai .
har taraf yaha ab sirf jhut or fareb hai , Masumiyat or saadgi se insaan ab kooso dur hai …

Umar bhar ke rishte kuch palo mein bankar tut te deekhe hai tune , ehsaaso ke sahare nahi hasiyat ke sahare bhi yaha rishte bante -bigadte deekhe hai tune …

Deekha tune pyaar ko dur jate hue bhi hai or deekha tune har pal insaano ke badalte hue chehro ko bhi hai …
Kasoor ye tera nahi , insaan ki to yaha fitrat hi kharab hai …

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