Intezaar! !

​Haan aaj bhi beintaah pyaar hai tujhse .


Tu hissa aaj bhi hai mera,  meri is kahani ka sabse haseen kissa tu aaj bhi hai mera .
Tu aaj bhi khaash hai mere liye , har pal har lamhe mein tu aaj bhi saath hai mere.

Farak sirf itna hai ,
kal Teri baatein rulati thi par aaj teri khamoshi rulati hai mujhe .
Kal tera pyaar rulata tha par aaj teri nafrat rulati hai mujhe .
Kal tujhe khone ka dar rulata tha or aaj tujhe kho chuki hu ye ehsaas rulata hai mujhe .
Kuch sawal hai jo puchne hai tujhse Jo har peher khayalo mein aate hai mere …


“Kya kabhi meri yaad nahi aati tujhe ? 
Kya kabhi mujhe baahon mein  lene ka Mann nahi karta tujhe ?
Kya itni nafrat karne laga hai tu mujhse ki mere na hone se koi farak padhta nahi tujhe ?
Kya itni buri hu mein ki ab pyaar nahi hai mujhse tujhe ?  “


Yaad kar vo pal Jo humne saath bitaye the unhi kuch palo mein mene tere saath jeene ke sapne sajaye the .
Shayad pyaar tujhe bhi hai , bas nafrat thodi jyada ho gayi hai tujhe mujhse.
Shayad chinta tujhe bhi hai , bas baatein karna band kar dia hai tune mujhse.
Tujhe galti maan kar jeena nahi chahti , pyaar tujhe manti hu to ye zindagi mujhe jeene nahi deti .


Sach bolu to baut zarurat hai mujhe Teri, 
Zarurat hai mujhe tere saath ki tere pyaar ki .
Kabhi kabhi baut pareshan ho jati hu or tab sirf tere kandhe par sar rakh kar rona chahti hu .
Pata hai mujhe mere aasu nahi pasand hai tujhe , tu frse gussa mat karna mujhpar , tu kuch mat bolna , is khamoshi mein mujhe kuch pal akele jeene dena or behne dena unhe . Vo ek lambe arse ki duri ko akele jeekar aaye hai . Kuch waqt lagega unhe bhi sambhalne mein , ab tak to bas saanse hi le rahe the jeene ki aas to vo ab apne andar laye hai !!!

Advertisements

Fitrat 

​Iss samay tu khash hai agle samay dil ke koi or paas hai …ajeeb dastoor hai iss duniyaa ka , har pal badalte yaha insaan hai !!

Ye Tera kasoor nahi ,insaan ki to fitrat hi kharab hai ….


Khushi hai to har koi tere saath hai , gum aaya to deekh aaj tere apne bhi tere khilaaf hai …
Pyaar to sirf jismo ka khel hai , ab kaha yaha bhawnaao ka koi mol hai .
har taraf yaha ab sirf jhut or fareb hai , Masumiyat or saadgi se insaan ab kooso dur hai …

Umar bhar ke rishte kuch palo mein bankar tut te deekhe hai tune , ehsaaso ke sahare nahi hasiyat ke sahare bhi yaha rishte bante -bigadte deekhe hai tune …

Deekha tune pyaar ko dur jate hue bhi hai or deekha tune har pal insaano ke badalte hue chehro ko bhi hai …
Kasoor ye tera nahi , insaan ki to yaha fitrat hi kharab hai …

Galat kya hai ? 

Galat ehsaas nahi insaan ho jata hai , 

Galat jajbaat nahi unhe samajhne -samjhane ka tareeka ho jata hai …


Galat vo bhi nahi Jo duniya ke samne Apne pyaar ka izhaar karne se nahi darte, galat vo bhi nahi Jo mann hi mann chup chup kar kisi se beintaah mohabbat karte  hai….
Galat vo bhi nahi jisse pehli nazar mein kisi se pyaar ho gaya , galat vo bhi nahi jiski zindagi ka ek arsa pyaar ki talaash mein chala gaya ….
Galat vo bhi nahi Jo der raat baatein karte hai , galat vo bhi nahi Jo raat ke andhero mein kisi ke liye rote hai …
Galat vo bhi nahi Jo pyaar mein zindagi jeete hai , galat vo bhi nahi Jo pyaar ke sahare zindagi jeene ki koshish karte hai…
Galat har mahine pyaar ka jashn manaana bhi nahi hai , galat khamoshi mein bhi har rishte ke mayne samajh jana bhi nahi hai. …

Galat kya hai fr ?


Galat vo nazre hai jo pehle Teri rooh ko nahi tere sharir ko deekh rahi hai ..
Galat vo soch hai jo tujhe udhne ki chut nahi de rahi hai …
Galat vo dayree hai jisme tujhe bandh liya gaya hai …
Galat vo baatein hai jisne tujhe kai raaton se sone nahi dia hai …
Galat vo khwahisheen hai jisne tujhe sirf ek khilona samajh rakha hai. .
Or galat vo insaan hai jisne ye sab kuch tere saath kia hai …

ek aakhri alvida!!

ja tu jee le apni zindagi , jisme baut khush hai tu ya khush hone ka dikhava karta hai …

jisme hai anginat log par fir bhi tu akele fira karta hai … itna tut gaya hai tu ki ab khud ki parchai se bhi darne lagta hai ,

mana nahi chahiye tujhe kisi ka saath kyuki iss akelepan ne tujhe bhi apne andar sameet liya hai …

ja maaf kia tujhe mene ,mujhe is zindagi mein dubara akela chorne ke liye , kuch mujhse kiye vaado ko todne ke liye … kuch yaado ko zindagi bhar ke liye mujhse jodne ke liye …

ja maaf kia tujhe tere us berukhepan ke liye , ja maaf kia tujhe mujhe frse anginat tukdo mein todne ke liye …

baut hua purani yaado mein jeena , tu ek nayi shuruwat kar …. baut kar lia dusro ke liye , sabse pehle ab khudko maaf kar …

chal ab tu bhi is zindagi mein aage badh , dikhava nahi sach mein khudse pyaar kar ….

“vo hai na jisne tujhe firse muskurana seekhaya tha , is zindagi mein tujhe aage badhna seekhaya tha , jisko bina mile tujhe jisse pyaar hone laga tha , kuch palo mein jise tu mujhse jyada chahne laga tha ,

le aa usse apni zindagi mein vapas ,tujhe zarurat hai uski.. mat rok ab khud ko , tu rubaru nahi hai shayad par ab baut der ho chuki hai, tu judh chuka hai usse or vo bas gai hai tujhme”

  

mana vo mein nahi , par hai to vo bhi tera hi hissa or teri zindagi se judi har cheez se hai mera vasta…

agar kabhi pyaar kia tha mujhse tune to us pyaar ke hi khatir ab sambhal jaa or iss deekhavye bhari zingadi se bahar aaja…..

mein jaa chuki hu tujhse baut dur ab kabhi laut kar nahi aaungi , tujhe kya ab teri parchai ko bhi nahi sataungi…

sach bolu agar to ab kabhi tujhse milna nahi chahti  , zindagi bhar tere aksh se rubaru nahi hona chahti . jitne dard diye tune mujhe unko frse jeena nahi chahti ,tere liye jo pyaar hai usse nafrat mein tabdeel hota hua ab nahi deekhna chahti …… haa bas tere liye dua karna chahti hu , tere liye suhana kal us khuda se magna chahti hu….

.

.

.

.

.

ja tujhe maaf kia , apni zindagi se tujhe azaad kia ….. jaa ab tu bhi khud ko maaf karle ,kuch khushiyaan tu bhi apne naam karle!!

Le chal mujhe vaha jaha pyaar tha !!

Chal kuch beeti baatein karte hai , jisme thi anginat khushiyaan un paloo ko firse jeete hai , Jab hua karta tha beintaah pyaar un yaadoon ko frse tazaa karte hai ..

Un rastoon pe frse le chal mujhe jaha tu or mein hum bane the , jaha do naye panchi parinde ban udh chale the . Jaha waqt intazaar mein nahi ehsaaso ke sahare guzarta tha . Jaha mere ek aansu ko deekh tera mann machalne lagta tha . Jaha raat ka andhera gamo ko apne andar sameete hue nahi tha , jaha subah ki dhoop m bhi sirf tera intazaar tha . Jaha bachpana tha mera par tujhe shikayat nahi thi . Jaha tune meri nadaniyan hasi mein udha di thi . Jaha sirf zindagi thi is zindagi mein aage badhne ki jaldi nahi . Jaha pyaar tha teri ye nafrat nahi . Jaha hasi thi tera ye gussa nahi . Jaha Teri zarurat sirf mein thi tera ye nasha nahi . Jaha hum ,sirf hum the tu or mein nahi . Jaha pyaar ka izhaar sirf lafzoo se nahi balki khamoshi mein bhi ho jata tha . Jaha pyaar ka safar tujhpar boz nahi ek haseen rasta tha .
Waqt ka khel hai , insaano ko chor ye to ehsaaso ko bhi badal deta hai . Teri berukhi baut dard deti hai mujhe par ab mein peeche nahi hatungi , tere tute hue dil ko frse jod hi dungi . Par dar is baat ka hai ki kahi itni der na ho jaye ki tere hisse to jud jaye par mein bikhar jaau , tujhe mil jaye zindagi Teri or mujhe rukhsati! !

“Ehsaas”

Chal aaj ikraar nahi izhaar karte hai , kuch khushiyaan aaj ek dusre ke naam karte hai , kuch vaade aaj ek dusre ke saath karte hai . 

Tu manzil ban jana mein rasta ban jaungi,  tu sagar ban jana mein sahil ban jaungi , tu khushiyaan ban jana mein vajah ban jaungi , tu zindagi ban jana or mein pyaar ban jaungi …

Ps : I love you !

You don’t wanna be a part of this life anymore then why the hell am I trying so hard ? What’s the point of being with someone who don’t wanna be a part of this life . What’s the point of trying so hard when their’s no hope if you’ll ever get back to me or not . I know you don’t love me the way you used to . I know you don’t consider me as a part of you anymore then why am I clinging to you . Am I suffocating you , am I making you helpless ? 

I am sorry if I am . You are free now , its better to let go than to suffocate people . If you don’t love me you can leave me . If you don’t see your future with me you can go right away . If you don’t consider me as a part of you than what’s the bloody point of being together . I don’t wanna be one of your temporary attachments that leads you to transient euphoria I wanna be your fucking forever and if you can’t give me that than you can leave right away …. 

Love is not about trying , it’s only and only about feeling . I want a love worth living for . I want a kind of love where calling me forever will be a matter of pride for him .  I want to be a part of someone’s daydreams not just a part of his night love . I wanna be someone’s whole damn world not just a random name in his priority list …

I love you and I always will , but going on like this is very hard for me . Every now and then you make me feel vulnerable . Am I not lovable anymore ? Loving you was never a mistake for me and I can proudly say that I love you . I am sorry but I can’t plead for something I am so proud of . I am setting you free . If you love me you ll get back to me and if not I’ll keep you as one of my favourite memory , will always adore you and cherish you …

” You don’t feel a inch of what I feel for you , you can never understand how your words cut me deeper than a knife . You aren’t trying to get back to me , you are trying hard to keep yourself away from me . Don’t worry you don’t have to try anything anymore , I am setting you free . I just can’t bound the person I love so dearly” 

Ps : I love you ♡

Pyaar ka dard !!

Aaj ek ehsaas hua …..

kuch hissa tune dur kara mujhse kuch mene dur kar lia tha tujhse , kuch baatein ankahi reh gayi teri  kuch alfaaz ansune kar diye the tune mere ,kuch dard  beh gaye in aankhon se aasu bankar kuch dard tere dil mein dafan ho gaye naasoor bankar. ….


Jo dard diye tujhe zindagi ne aaj bhi sameete hue hai tu unhe apne andar,  Ek hissa tha  jo chut gaya peeche , kuch sapne the jo tut gaye tere , kuch mazile thi jo chut gayi teri . Tera humsafar sirf tera humraaz bankar reh gaya , tere sache pyaar ne teri kuch buri aadaton ke aage apna dam tod dia…..


Tere sapne baut bade hai pata hai mujhe , pure bhi ho jayenge is baat ki bhi umeed hai mujhe …….par sapne to sapne hi hote hai na sapno ke liye sachai se muh nahi moda karte , aage badhne ke liye apne pyaar ko peeche nahi chora karte …..raste to hazaar milenge tujhe ,par un rastoon par saath chalne vala saathi zindagi m sirf ek baar milega tujhe….


Tu kyu apna dard mujhse chupata hai , Teri aankhon mein tera aksh saaf nazar aata hai , dar kis baat ka hai tujhe , ki tu frse tut jayega ? Ek kadam to badha kar deekh tera har lamha savar jaega…..Tere dard mein mujhe sanjhedaari chahiye , mera humrahi mujhe vapas chahiye ….


Waqt to aaj bura hai to kal Acha aa hi jayega , mera pyaar agar Sacha hai to tu laut kar mere paas hi aaega. … Tera mere paas hona nahi , mere saath hona zaruri hai ……pata nahi hai shayad tujhe ek zindagi kam padh jati hai agar pyaar sacha ho to , pyaar waqt ka mohtaaz nahi hota , pyaar ho agar to waqt ka bhi koi mol nahi hota ……

Love unleashed! !

Finally I met him …

(Pretty flashbacks, some memories , half a dozen fights , head’s all messed up)

Maybe he is the one for me , maybe he is the one worth sharing this life with , maybe he is the one worth keeping for till eternity , afterall he is the only guy I’ve ever loved , afterall he’s my first …my first eye contact,  my first crush , my first kiss , my first everything …

But everything is changed now , we are not what we used to be , we are two entirely different personalities engulfed by things we hardly imagined for ourselves , it’s not that we don’t love each other anymore , we do love each other but that sense of expression is missing now , we still care for each other , we still wanna see each other happy , we still wanna be an intricate part of each others life,  we still wanna love each other the way we used to but we are hurt , we are hurt beyond the limits ,even we can’t mend each others broken pieces this soon….

Getting back to people is very hard I must say ,no matter how connected we were , no matter how deeply we were in love with each other ,no matter how concerned we were for each other , but we were not there for each other when needed the most , we were not there for each other when we were going through worst phases of our lives , we were not there for each other when we used to cry for love , we were not there for each other when everyone snapped us out of their lives , we were not there for each other when our hands used to shake out of fear , we were not there for each other when we did things we least imagined for ourselves , we were not there for each other when our body used to crave for love,  we were not there for each other when we needed each other the most …..we left each other because of our so called insecurities  and trust issues …

And now we are back , but this time it was different , I was scared infact I am still scared , scared about the fact that this isn’t gonna last for long,  I am scared because maybe one day you will tell me again “this isn’t working , we can’t go on like this ” . You loved me but I destroyed you , you were hopeful about me but I was insecure about you , you did everything for me but I misunderstood you , and see what I did , when you were at your lowest phase and I left you …. to be honest I did not leave you , how can I?  I used to love you alot . You pushed me away .

But somewhere I am still hopeful … somehow I know that you are not going to leave me again . I know a part of you still loves me very much and that won’t let you leave me  …. I don’t know why , why do I love you this much , whenever it comes to you I can’t think of anything else but you only … hurt me thousand times but I ll end up loving you only , no matter where I go I ll always get back to you only , no matter with whom you get attached to but I am attached to you only and always will … every goddamn way leads me to you only … everything that I know about love that’s because of you only …. maybe because you feel like home to me …..Maybe because you are the only one made for me ♡ maybe because you are the ray of light to my dark world , maybe because you are the hour of happiness in the days of my sorrow !!

WordPress.com.

Up ↑